Full name: Michael Bernard Hopkins
Quote: "Sorry, can't talk, on my way out."
Major: Triple-major of Physics, Economics, and Music
Room: 305, (roommate to Scott)

Mike is the overachiever of the bunch. He believes in continually being busy and productive, and doesn't believe in "excesses" such as fatty foods or laziness. He delves into his academics (4.0 GPA, of course) and fills every other spare second with hobbies ranging from photography to singing to martial arts to sports. Most of the time he can be seen rollerblading on campus, doing several of the above at once. He disapproves of those who are "lazier" (which includes just about everyone) and takes it upon himself to guilt-trip everyone until they either "do the right thing" or "tell Mikey to go suck an egg" (and just about everyone prefers the latter). Mike clearly lacks a sense of fun in his life, especially in the women department--who has time to date with so much else to do? It's a pity, because most women find the fluffy, boyish kangaroo irresistible. If only he'd notice them.

Human version: